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10. "Who is this next to me?" 

9. "And why is she naked?" 

8. "I wonder how many sick days I have left that I can use?" 

7. "How did I end up in jail?" 

6. "You know, Oprah was right about men not being sensative enough." 

5. "If she doesn't quit snoring, I will strangle her." 

4. "You know..a threesome with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera could happen to me someday." 

3. "What am I doing in a bathtub in a hotel room with a Miss Hermaphrodite 2000 sash around me?" 

2. "Good Lord, what did I eat last night that could cause a smell that bad?" 

1. "How the heck am I gonna be able to pee with it like this?"