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A Dog Named Sex


Everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Spot. I call mine Sex. 
Of course, this has caused several misunderstandings. The following
is a small sample of them: 

When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I 
would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one, too!" Then I 
said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was 9 years 
old." He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid." 

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I 
told the hotel clerk that I want a room for my wife and me and a special 
room for Sex. He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as you 
pay you bill we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem 
to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny, I 
have the same problem." 

One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but the dog ran away. Another 
contestant asked me why I was looking disappointed. I told him I had 
planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own 
tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on 
TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it's no big deal 
any more." 

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of 
the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The 
judge said, "This courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, 
please." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said 
that's not unusual. 

Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for 
him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley 
at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex. My 
case comes up Friday.