| "I think of you as a brother" |
You remind me of an inbred banjo-playing geek |
| "There's a slight difference in our ages" |
You are one Jurassic geezer |
| "I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way" |
You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon |
| "My life is too complicated right now" |
I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing |
| "I have a boyfriend" |
He's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's |
| "I don't date men where I work" |
Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building |
| "It's not you, it's me" |
It's not me, it's you |
| "I'm concentrating on my career" |
Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you |
| "I'm celibate" |
I've sworn off only the men like you |
| "Let's be friends" |
I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with |
